Of Roaches and Men
by The Christian Fangirl
Summary: L and Light are pretty much fearless...until they find a cockroach in the building.


"_Light_."

The urgency in L's voice awakened Light, who had drifted off as L tirelessly worked throughout the night. He sat up and looked over at L's chair, but the detective was missing. His gaze followed the chain connecting their handcuffs, which traveled up to the top of the dresser. Owlish eyes peered down at him. Light yelped before making out the form of L, perched on top of the dresser and shrouded in shadow.

"What are you doing?" Light demanded.

L pointed at the coffee table, and Light's eyes widened at the sight of a large cockroach cleaning its spindly antennae.

"How did _that_ get in here?"

"Through the vent, most likely," L said. "Kill it."

The revulsion on L's face was unmistakable. A smile played at Light's lips. "Are you scared of insects, Ryuzaki?"

"They're filthy, and they have too many legs," L said defensively. "Will you please kill it?"

Light eyed the detective keenly. "What will that prove to you? If I smash it, would you use it as proof that I'm Kira, willing to kill anything? Or if I take it outside, would you say that I was trying too hard to avoid suspicion, and again use this as proof that I'm Kira?"

"You're stalling."

"I'm not stalling!"

"Then _kill it_."

"Alright." Light took off his shoe and leaned over the coffee table. He slapped the shoe over the roach with a sharp _wack_, but the armor-shelled creature scurried aside, unsheathing its wings and flying past Light.

The teen screamed girlishly as he scrambled off the couch, the handcuff chain nearly yanking L off the dresser.

"It's on the wall," L hissed, quickly hopping down to the safety of the floor.

"It's too fast to—_what is it doing_?"

The roach scurried up to the ceiling, leaving a stain of fluids behind it.

"You scared it," L said, eyes narrowed in disgust. "Now how do you propose we get it down?"

"We'll have to herd it into a corner." Light strode into the bathroom, and L of course had to follow. Light grabbed the plunger and handed it to L, then took a rinsing cup from the dispenser. "You knock it down with the plunger and push it toward the corner, and I'll trap it under the cup."

L didn't look too happy with the plan, but he followed Light back into the living room. They looked up at the ceiling…and saw nothing.

"It could be anywhere now!" Light looked around anxiously until L tugged at his sleeve and whispered:

"There!"

The insect was inching languidly down the vent, as if to mock them.

"Okay, Ryuzaki, hit it down."

L hesitated, then switched out the plunger for the cup. "You hit it, I'll trap it."

Light gritted his teeth. "Fine."

He stepped forward, took a deep breath, and swiped at the roach. As if defying gravity, the creature flicked its wings for a moment as it fell, a feat that propelled it toward Light. It landed squarely on the brunette's shoulder, and he shrieked, shaking it off wildly.

"Trap it! Ryuzaki, trap it with the cup!"

L's eyes darted around frantically. "It's moving too quickly."

"Don't be a coward!"

"You're the one screaming!"

With an exasperated yell, Light zeroed in on the roach and used the plunger to push it toward the corner. "Now!"

L slammed the cup over the roach, and the two sat back, panting.

The roach was so big that its wriggling feelers stuck out of the cup. Said cup vibrated softly, and clicking sounds echoed from within it. Light shuddered. "We have to kill it before it chews its way out."

"And which one of us is going to do that?"

The two met eyes in a silent battle that lasted several moments before Light looked away. "Is Watari in the building?"

"He's buying ice cream in bulk on the other side of town."

Light looked back at the cup, which continued to quiver with an unnatural ticking. The last of his resolve melted away, and he pulled out his phone to dial a number.

After a single ring, his father answered. "What is it, son?" Soichiro asked, his voice sounding strained.

"Dada," said Light, too distressed to work up any dignity, "there's a large cockroach in our room. Could you come up and kill it, please?"

A pause, followed by a deep sigh. "I'll be right up."

"Thanks."

Light was about to end the call when Soichiro added, "Light, you know that we're watching you on the security cameras, right?"


End file.
